


haha this angry loser

by cacowhistle



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: bc i liked how it came out, i really just needed a place to throw this, this is kind of a character study???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 14:53:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13413618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cacowhistle/pseuds/cacowhistle
Summary: tom has known negative emotions his entire life





	haha this angry loser

Tom has known negative emotions his entire life.

For as long as he can remember, he's been angry. It hasn't always been on the surface, but there has always been some passive form of rage boiling underneath. It simmers, and simmers, and simmers, until the tension is too much and he cracks. His rage takes the form of shouts, loud and harsh and garbled sounds in a hellish language that only his family knows. His rage takes the form of tears. Frustrated, hot tears that he rubs at until his face is raw and a pale gray that's tinted red. His rage takes the form of fire. Swirling, fighting, angry flames. They dance against his skin, burning hot to everyone but him. They sway across the earth, they burn brighter than any campfire and rage harder than any house fire.

As a demon, he knows anger and sadness and fear. As a human, he feels them. As both, he hurts. He hurts so badly from all three and more. His mind is human, he may have demonic powers and ungodly strengths but he is still human, he is still emotional, but not weak, never weak. He has spots of weakness, but he is not weak.

His problems build up, and don't stop building. Human mental disorders. Anger issues, anxiety, depression - he laughs at first at the suggestion - he is a demon, he can't be susceptible to these things.

He is wrong.

Star comes. She is the sun and the moon and the stars and the entire galaxy, she is the rainbow that comes after rain. She causes butterflies, like her namesake,  to dance and swarm in Tom's stomach. He laughs easier around her, he feels happy and calm and he's not as angry around her. She is the sun that chases away his cloudy day. She is the song that he loves the most. She is the stars that he could watch for years, he could memorize and adore until the day he dies.

He loves her. He is in love, and unashamedly so.

But Star isn't ready for him yet, and he gets angrier. He's blind to her wants, her needs, he's blind to her, and his starry sky leaves.

He tries to call her back, he is desperate for her - without her, he's angrier, he's colder. His rage is louder than ever, it has broken the surface and come swarming forth from the fiery pit of his soul. His devastation and loneliness breaks him, and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He tries his hardest to apologize, to become the person Star needs and wants and likes, but he can't.

Marco comes. He is everything Star wants, and everything Tom hates. He doesn't understand how an insecure, smartass human like this boy can enamor Star the way he has. Tom doesn't see his charm, his appeal - all he sees is an enemy, a rival. Their souls bond, and Tom is angrier - the Earth boy stole his entire world.

Tom isn't sure what to do with himself once he knows. Star loves Marco, that much is clear. He reevaluates his decisions, thinks about what he has done, and knows, he knows, he knows he knows he knows, Star doesn't want him.

He wants to get better, he's desperate to get the rage out of him. He's tired, so tired, and angry, and when is he not angry? He is always angry, and he wants it to end. He thinks this will end it. He's sure it will end it. And he knows Star doesn't approve, but he knows it's the only way. It hurts, absolutely unbearable, but Star is there, she's there and she cares and worries and Tom is in love all over again when he awakes. He knows it's not worth it, the pain and the suffering - but he wants to get better. He does.

He loves her. She is the key to keeping his rage in check, and he loves her.

He is angry, but he is in love.


End file.
